Biscuits for Dummies

Biscuits are complicated.

There are entire restaurant chains devoted to fried chicken and making biscuits- Bojangles, Popeye’s, and Church’s Chicken, to name a few. I’m not usually a fried chicken and biscuits girl. I’d rather save my junky food calories for ice creamy milkshakes and cookies bursting at the seams with chocolate chips.

But there are some days that a fried slice of spicy chicken breast on a warm buttery biscuit screams at me from the Bojangles drive thru window- “Heather! You NEED a Cajun Filet Biscuit!!!” Saturday on the way to soccer was just such an occassion.

We thought we were ahead of schedule. Our game wasn’t until 12, and at 9 am I was still stumbling around here in a pair of shorts clutching my coffee cup like life support. The plan was to straight up mosey until about 10:45, and then kick it into gear and head towards the field thirty or forty minutes after that. I had an early morning date planned with a bottle of sparkly red toenail polish and several more coffee refills.

The phone rang, and after watching Chad’s super short end of the conversation (lots of head nodding and “uh-huh, that’s fine”), he relayed the message that it was Evan’s coach calling, asking us to be at the field an hour early to watch another game.

So long red toenails. And breakfast.

We scrambled around the house trying to get ready to go- two hours on a hot field means the cooler is a necessity. It needed a little scrub action, and fortunately Chad and Andrew took care of that while I rambled through my closet for a t-shirt and blue jeans (I should have opted for the standard Heather-issue tank top cause I’ve been rocking a serious farmer’s tan all week). We decided that a run to the dreaded Wal-Mart was going to be a necessity since our cooler was out of drinks and ice, and we really needed to invest in a couple of those portable sport-parent chairs.

I don’t know about you, but Wal-Mart on a Saturday is not someplace I ever want to be. It’s like punishment. So I’ll just skip straight to the part where we left Wal-Mart thirty dollars lighter, and with just twenty minutes to spare and several miles left to go, Bojangles started screaming my name.

We gave in and bought the biscuits. They were amazing.

Chad’s grandma makes THE BEST biscuits evuuuuur. I have tried to duplicate her made-with-love process and have reached a decision: with 30 more years of practice, hers will still be better than mine.

So I am going to share with you my favorite new secret:

Bangin biscuits. Four ingredients. I can’t compete with Chad’s grandma, but this recipe beat out Bojangles hands down.

Now THAT’S a biscuit.

Original recipe for 7-Up Biscuits are from Plain Chicken.